Saturday, September 25, 2010

Chapbooks and Comedowns

I appear to be experiencing a massive comedown... I’ve had a fantastic week and if my brain functioned in a normal way I would still be enjoying the fact that I’ve registered for university and will begin my Creative Writing MA at Newcastle University on Tuesday, the fact that I had a wonderful time catching up with loads of old friends in Nottingham last week, the fact that the launch of my chapbook at the Lit & Phil went really, really well along, the fact that my daughters, my husband, my family and my friends are all immensely proud of me... but it doesn’t, and I’m not. Hopefully when I wake up in the morning my mood will lift...

I guess the main problem is that as soon as anything good enters the past I’m already aware that I need to move on to the next thing. It’s not enough to get on to an MA, I have to work really bloody hard to make sure that I get the best out of it and I suppose that’s probably at the root of why I’m feeling so drained... I wonder if I have the energy...

On the other hand... maybe I should just remember that last year I really had cause to feel terrified about the future and that compared to spending the last weekend in May wondering if my husband would survive three emergency operations all this is a doddle.

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